You're like the andiron that hold me up,
And Your whispers are the air that flows through me.
You ignite me. I am a flame.
I'm losing the home that I thought I had, and the family I thought I knew.
Things are very hard for me. I kind of feel as if I'm becoming bitter.
Not only bitter, but hollow? I guess I can say that's how I'm feeling.
I have to remember that no matter how hard things are for me right now, it is so small in comparison to the universe I reside.
We are so small, and yet we think that we are so big.
Today I discovered something. I was searching for apartments and filling my little head with worry.
Worried about how good my apartment will be, what type of neighborhood I'm in, and worried about the money I'll have.
Then I realized.....
This goes against everything that I /know/. This goes against everything that I believe in.
So I've decided, I don't give a care anymore about how much of rat hole my place is. I need to get myself in line and remember what my calling is.
My calling is to love and maintain my relationship with my Father and my creator who has breathed life into my lungs and provided me with all I need to live for a full 18 years.
My calling is to show other people around the town of Weatherford, the state of Oklahoma, The United States, and the world the same love that I know.
My calling is to build homes, to feed the hungry and to remember that I do not exist.
Bitterness and worry have been consuming me.
Now..I think I'll try something new for a change.
And Your whispers are the air that flows through me.
You ignite me. I am a flame.
I'm losing the home that I thought I had, and the family I thought I knew.
Things are very hard for me. I kind of feel as if I'm becoming bitter.
Not only bitter, but hollow? I guess I can say that's how I'm feeling.
I have to remember that no matter how hard things are for me right now, it is so small in comparison to the universe I reside.
We are so small, and yet we think that we are so big.
Today I discovered something. I was searching for apartments and filling my little head with worry.
Worried about how good my apartment will be, what type of neighborhood I'm in, and worried about the money I'll have.
Then I realized.....
This goes against everything that I /know/. This goes against everything that I believe in.
So I've decided, I don't give a care anymore about how much of rat hole my place is. I need to get myself in line and remember what my calling is.
My calling is to love and maintain my relationship with my Father and my creator who has breathed life into my lungs and provided me with all I need to live for a full 18 years.
My calling is to show other people around the town of Weatherford, the state of Oklahoma, The United States, and the world the same love that I know.
My calling is to build homes, to feed the hungry and to remember that I do not exist.
Bitterness and worry have been consuming me.
Now..I think I'll try something new for a change.
:)
ReplyDeleteGod has really been speaking the same things to me, too. I've been worrying about money and about how things are going to turn out and the like, and He's been reminding me daily of my calling, and of how it's not about me or my struggles or how difficult things may be, but about being obedient.
"But seek first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well." Matthew 6:33
You're SO right. God will provide us with what we NEED, as long as we keep our focus on Him and on loving Him, and loving others as He loves.